[09.11.2009 - 12:30 a.m.]
[09.11.2009 - 12:30 a.m.]I never write in here anymore, it's been like a year. Oh well I just didn't know where else to write really, hate using written diaries because they can be found easily. Also nothing happens in my life, can't you tell?
I'm currently trawling the internet trying to find inspiration for mine and Dave's second anniversary...23rd November
:D I was thinking a daytrip to London, but everything is so expensive :(
Being a student limits the budget, and my budget is very very low. I don't want to just go out for a meal though, same old same old, but I can't do anything extravagant. Wanted to see Lion King on stage but that's about £60 each sooo..no.
Hopefully I'll find something! Or it will be a trip to Spoons for a celebratory bottle of wine and shite meal!
The real reason I'm writing here is something weird happened yesterday. My new life nearly met my old life. I went to Southampton for a infamous BBQ, and I will admit I was nervous incase Jeff was there. I have no feelings for him in that way whatsoever, it's just a weird area and I don't like thinking about it. So the possibility of Jeff and Dave meeting really freaked me out, but I didn't say anything to Dave because I haven't spilled the beans about that whole obsession. Best if I don't. Finally, when we got there, everyone met Dave and liked him...which was good! There were a few mentions of the last BBQ I went to where I got rather drunk and bla bla but I managed to shrug it off without any mention of Jeff. His dad turned up and everyone said "ah at least Big Jeff could make it" at which point I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief!!!!
Stupid thing to get worked up over but I could feel the knots in my stomach tightening as the night progressed, probably just because I'm so embarrassed about the situation and I dread to think what his opinion of me is like. In a way I'm a bit annoyed he didn't come, I would've enjoyed speaking to him and sort of showing him that I'm no longer that crazed hormonal stalker... That would alleviate some of the strange feelings towards him I think. I don't know why but I felt somewhat pleased when I heard his dad slagging off his current girlfriend (maybe fiance, who knows) and then all his friends joined in.. It's slightly wrong but I'm just glad everything isn't going swimmingly for him.
Regardless of that, life is alright at the moment. Mum has sold the house, finally, and will be moving to Wiltshire in the near future. Dad wants to retire soon and divide his time between Tenerife and England. I'm coping with second year of university and WILL continue to third and graduate. After that I WILL take a gap year/gain an internship in Canada/do a post-grad at the University of Toronto. I'm not fussed about earning HUGE amounts of money, I simply want happiness.
I have goals..........I just need to reach them :)